The Grandfather Incident, Or The Great Giraffe Rescue of 2021
by deathraptor22
Summary: First of Semi-Domestic Adventures. While at the park, Mulder is mistaken for Sam's grandfather. Scully has to keep him from going off the deep end. But he would have saved the giraffe anyway.


**Disclaimer: I do not own** _ **the X-Files.**_ **I might wish I did, but sadly, I don't.**

 **AN: This is my first** _ **X-Files**_ **story so if I totally screwed up the characterization I deeply apologize. I think they're okay, but I have a deep fear of screwing up, hence the apology in advance.**

"One more time, Papa?" Mulder's other favorite red head pleaded starting up at her with big blue eyes. "Please?"

For being three years of age, Samantha Melissa Scully-Mulder could not only talk but talk well. Sure, it wasn't the most stimulating conversation, but it was impressive.

"Sure, honey." Mulder replied, going to help her up.

"I got this." Sam told him, grabbing on to the steps leading up to the slide.

"Are you sure?" Mulder asked. Scully was afraid he was going to stunt her independence or something, but he was protective. So, sue him.

"I got this." Sam repeated, climbing up the ladder.

In spite of his apprehension, Mulder laughed at the little girl's use of the phrase. As he watched her assent, another man with his child asked, "How old is she?"

"Three and scared of absolutely nothing." Mulder beamed with pride.

"You're so good with her." The man noted, "I wish my dad spent more time with his grandkids."

That struck Mulder, causing him to turn to face the other dad. "I'm not her grandfather. I'm her father."

"Oh," The man responded awkwardly, "I'm sorry, I just assumed…"

"We started late." Mulder explained, before looking between and the man and his daughter, who was about to request he watch. "Pa-Daddy's watching." He told her. Suddenly, 'Papa' sounded too close to a Grandpa alternative.

Sam slid down, followed by another little girl holding a plush giraffe. The girl came out but the giraffe didn't. She turned around to retrieve her toy and her face fell.

"I got this. "Mulder declared, stepping over to the slide. As the girl hopped up he peered inside the tube and saw the giraffe caught at the top.

 _I've dealt with worse._ Mulder figured, beginning shimmy up the slide. Being meant for small children, it was a tight fit but he managed.

"Sir, I don't think that's a good idea—" The man began.

"I'm with the FBI." Mulder cut him off, "I think I can get a giraffe out of a slide." Really, it couldn't be worst then breaking into a spaceship.

"This doesn't really seem like a federal matter!" The man responded, before deciding it was no use.

Mulder made it to the top and worked at the giraffe, until it was free from the lose piece of plastic it was stuck on, bending the plastic back so that worst injuries didn't happen, and began to shimmy back down, when halfway to his destination, he became stuck. _Crap_ He thought, _You can do this, Mulder. You got yourself into this slide, you can get yourself out._ He wiggled somewhat and freed himself, eventually coming back out and standing up.

"Yay, Papa!" Sam cheered, while Mulder handed the other girl the giraffe. "Thanks, mister!" The little girl beamed, before taking off and telling her parents, who had been watching the whole scene, but didn't realize their daughter's involvement.

"No problem!" Mulder called out, adjusting himself, disconcerted by the fact that he suddenly felt very sore.

Later that might, Mulder was staring in the mirror, examining his appearance. He was rather good shape for his age, and, at the risk of sound rather vain, thought he looked good for his age, but the word, 'grandfather' kept ranging out in his head.

That way when he found the gray hair.

It wasn't like he hadn't found gray hairs before. In fact, he had been dying for a couple of years. But this was provoked an unintelligible noise of horror from his throat.

Suddenly Scully appeared in the door way. "So, Sam told me about your heroics at the park today." She half-smirked.

"Uh-hun." Mulder responded, still focused on the hair and not really hearing her.

"It was apparently rather impressive." Scully continued, "Did you really climb up a slide to retrieve a giraffe for a girl you didn't even know?"

"Uh-hun." Mulder repeated, in way that told his wife he wasn't paying attention.

"Meanwhile, Sam's decided to forgo preschool and become a spokesperson for the Ab-roller." Scully tested him.

"Good for her." Mulder responded, failing the test.

"Mulder!" Scully exclaimed.

"I'm here, what?" Mulder snapped to attention.

"May I ask what is so absorbing.?" Scully requested.

Mulder pulled out the hair and held it out for her to see.

"Never really pegged you for vain, Mulder." Scully responded, "Cocky maybe, but not vain."

"Okay, this wouldn't be a big deal if it wasn't happening in condentcy with someone mistaking me for Sam's grandfather." Mulder explained.

"Oh." Scully responded, a lot of things now making sense, "This wouldn't happen to be what prompted the Great Giraffe Rescue of 2021, would it?"

"I would've done it anyway." Mulder protested.

Scully just stared at him, raising an eye brow.

"What? I would've." Mulder insisted, "But think about it, Scully. Do you even realize how old we'll be when she graduates high school?" She gestured to Sam's bedroom.

"I try not to think about it." Scully admitted.

"And you look ten years younger than you actually are." Mulder pointed out, then thought of something, "And you know what? After I came out of that tube, my body ached all over."

"That's because you climbed upwards into slide that was meant for ages seven and under." Scully reasoned, before walking over to him and adjusting his clothes, "Look, we are not the only people whoever had a child later in life."

"We're in our fifties, Scully." Fox reasoned, "Our _fifties._ "

"So was George Colony." Scully told him," And people now are living into their hundreds on a regular basis. Isn't that what you told me?"

Back when Sam was still in utero they had been at the gynecologist and some judgmental sectaries teasing laughter and cruel words carried further than they knew. Combined with pregnancy hormones, the usually rational agent wound up crying in their bathroom at home before Mulder found her and managed to bring her back to sanity with the words she was now saying to him.

"Yeah," Mulder admitted slowly, "I did."

"And you run around chasing maybe monsters every other week." Scully continued, "You're not exactly slowing down." She leaned in, beginning to mess with his shirt, "And, you look _very_ good for your age as well."

"Scully," Mulder began, smirking, "Are you seducing me to fight off the impending midlife crisis?"

"Is it working?" Scully asked, smiling coyly.

"Maybe." Mulder replied, returning the coy smile before kissing her.

However, before things could get any further, a sweet voice called out, "Mommy!"

"I better go see what that is." Scully told her husband.

"I'll go too." Mulder agreed, "But after that we are working on getting her a younger sibling."

"Oh, definitely." Scully agreed.


End file.
